I want to be great or nothing.

By: Victoria Diaz

I just want to do things. I want to act. I want to write. I want to direct. There are so many things I can do and so much time, but I need to find it so it does not leave me behind. I need to be better. I have to be better. Nothing is good enough for me. I am not sure even the world is big enough to contain me. And what does that mean? How do I keep on going with my life? Something has to be good enough. I must feel happiness at some point… right? Like.. it has to happen… It must too.

I don’t know, maybe it is because I’m young and the world it’s out there and it feels so heavy and I believe I can truly lift it with my two hands. Or maybe it’s because I am a girl and womanhood and godhood is basically the same thing. I grew up catholic so I know I am right. I… just hope I am not being my normally overthinking self but maybe I just can’t avoid it. MAYBE it’s the price the artist pays for their creativity… but in the end, I just don’t know.

Maybe I am all the March sisters together, but I really understand Amy when she said she wanted to be great or nothing. Talent is not enough. I must be great. I have to. There’s nothing else to be